I was adopted by two of the best parents a child could ask for. My parents have always been honest with me and my adoption wasn’t any different. One day about 15 years ago, my mother went down to the county courthouse because she heard the records were going to be opened up; she quietly went down and copied all of the adoption records on file so I could have them at a later date.

As I grew older, I began having a lot of questions my parents couldn’t answer about my birth mother. They told me that they had all of my adoption papers with my birth mother’s name and hopefully one day I could find out all of those answers for myself.

About five years ago, I decided it was time to find my birth mother, so I asked my mother for the court records, and she gave them to me, along with some papers from the adoption agency. Everything was there, the name, the consent for contact, where to send it, and who to call but I neglected to do anything with it.

Last year, my mother began a computer search on Prodigy. Some people had interesting information. One person even knew my birth name, and another told her knowing the birth mother’s maiden name. It was like having 3/4 of the work already done.

I was really excited but, as always, something had come up. My time was limited, and I became scared of the unknown. This June I was ready, I signed the consent forms and began doing some research. Before I knew it, the phone rang one Saturday and it was her, my birth mother.

I wanted to say so many things and those first three hours we spent on the phone were special. She has helped me answer a lot of those questions, as we begin to build a special friendship. The last piece to my puzzle is complete and now I can begin to go on with my life.

To my parents I say thanks for all your help, understanding, and honesty from the beginning, without you this could not have been possible. And to my birth mother, you will always have a special place in my heart. Welcome to the family, and cheers to a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Joel has always been a part of my life, even though we have been separated for almost 26 years. I loved him before he was born and I didn’t want to make the choices that I did about our lives years ago. It was always clear to me, in a subconscious way, that I would find him or he would find me one day. At various times during those 26 years, I would think about finding him but denial and fear would usually have their ways. Finally, I was ready. The support and acceptance of a wonderful group of people from Operation Identity (OI) helped to give me the courage to acknowledge my son aloud, to overcome the shame, guilt, fear that have accompanied me over the years, and the knowledge that the oppressive systems/society that kept us separated could also be manipulated to bring us back together.

After one OI meeting, I was given the information necessary to begin a search in California where Joel was born. With great anxiety, I initiated the process. How long would it take? Who was my son and who had he become? Would he reject me? Would he hate me? What had his life been like? Were his adoptive parents good to him? How was his health? The questions were neverending.

A month after I began the search, when I returned from a vacation, in the accumulated mail was a brown envelope containing a note that my son, Joel, had been located. A birth certificate with his adoptive parents names was included. I called the searcher for the phone number and address a few days later. Then I stalled another 4 or 5 days before calling. Before and during the dialing of numbers, my knees grew weak. This had only happened one other time in my life when l was stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel. Repeatedly, I reached a fax number. The next morning, with renewed effort, I decided to call the California phone information system. The number was clearly listed.

Our first conversation lasted three wonderful hours. He had also been searching for me over the past few months. We have since exchanged pictures and had more time to talk on the phone. Thanksgiving should be the best ever for me. I will meet my son and touch his reality. Certainly, I expect there will be some difficult times in the future, as there are in all relationships. It seems that all obstacles will be conquerable. What could be worse than the silence and separation that we have already experienced?