When we review a book, article, movie, or television show or series, that does not constitute an endorsement of the program, article, or book, unless explicitly stated, and then it is the writer’s opinion, not the policy of O.I. This newsletter is read by adults with interests in adoption-related content, and it is assumed that readers can form their own opinions after reading or viewing the reviewed material. Each person’s life experiences will influence their reactions to that they read or see, and may change over time, based on new experiences or information. Some may have had previous beliefs or experiences that led them to hold certain beliefs or opinions, but later events, relationships, or insights might lead to changes in those beliefs, opinions, or decisions. Sometimes a book, movie, television program, or article plays a part in change, or in holding even stronger to beliefs already held. Most people do not have the same set of beliefs, opinions, or even behaviors that they had at the age or twenty, for instance. Life experiences lead to more thoughtful conclusions.

As a long-time therapist, this writer met and worked with many women and men who had life situations far different from her own, and sometimes similar ones. As a therapist, it was not my place to make life decisions for others, but to help them explore various possibilities and outcomes, so they could make the own informed decisions. Sometimes their choices turned out well, sometimes not. It is a therapist’s job to see each person as a human being, worthy of her (or his) time and possible insight. Some clients had experienced abuse, poverty, fear, injury, rape, and illness, in addition to chemical or behavioral addictions. Some continued to struggle, and many were able to change their lives in amazing ways. Among those were birth parents, adoptive parents, parents who had lost custody of their children, some who had regained custody, or who had repaired relationships with children, parents, spouses, and others. For some, that was not possible.

This writer’s own experiences as a birth mother in a closed adoption (later reunited), as a mother, stepmother, spouse, single parent, and grand-parent helped in seeing different perspectives. Each person is responsible for their own decisions and behavior, and not for anyone else’s decisions or behavior, or consequences. There are times when it is difficult to observe friends and family making decisions or holding beliefs that one thinks are not wise, realistic, or healthy, but one cannot control other people.

When laws or customs seem foolish or cruel, one has the right to express thoughts and opinions, and then to let others make their own decisions. It is hoped that in reviewing various books, films or series, or articles, that readers will explore those same issues and media presentations, or order to consider various opinions and life experiences, and gain further insights.

Readers are encouraged to share their own experiences in writing, so that other readers might profit from reading someone else’s story. This can be done by contacting the editor in writing at the mailing address on the cover page of this newsletter. If the respondent wishes to remain anonymous, or use only initials, that is acceptable. Please be respectful of others in any response.